Eternity Daily Bible Study No. 253

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Apologies for the irregular devotionals, I have been exceptionally busy with “face to face” ministry. 
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Living In Christ – 14

ORDER IN RELATIONSHIPS

Ephesians 5:22-33
(22)  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
(23)  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
(24)  Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
(25)  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it,
(26)  that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word,
(27)  that He might present it to Himself as the glorious church, without spot or wrinkle or any such things, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
(28)  So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
(29)  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord loves the church.
(30)  For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.
(31)  "For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two of them shall be one flesh."
(32)  This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
(33)  But also let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife that she defers to her husband.

Two sets of holy relationships are in view here. The relationship between Christ and the Church, and the relationship between a husband and his wife, and the two are seen as analogous.

Intimacy requires order. There can be little intimacy in the midst of anger, rebellion, selfishness and disorder. “You in your little corner and me in mine….” is not a recipe for deep love. 

Intimacy also requires the mutual ministering of one to the other. The Church ministers to Christ in worship and Christ ministers to us through His Holy Spirit. Similarly the wife ministers to her husband through respect and the husband ministers to his wife through cherishing her in love.

My wife has a Ph.D. in Biology and a well-established international career – yet she needs my love. I have a good ministry – yet I need her respect and submission. Minda is strong and independent and capable but in the marriage relationship she is willingly respectful and submissive. As two strong people in a good marriage we still have to be careful with one another. Minda loves it when I cherish her and honor her and I enjoy it when Minda shows respect and honor to me.  I am proud of her achievements and Minda delights in mine. I feel no need to diminish her in order to be “head of the house”.

But it was hard for Minda to surrender her independence when we got married and just as hard for me to give up my untidy bachelor ways. Living by the biblical pattern is not at all easy – but it is worthwhile.

Submission does not mean that women are not “equal” to men.  They are both part of the image of God. But a woman cannot delight in the strength of her man unless she lets him lead. A wife encourages and develops her husband’s leadership skills by letting him lead. Over time a respectful wife will produce a strong man that she can delight in. However if a wife rips her husband’s self-esteem to shreds, takes over, and decides to be in charge then she will experience the “absent Adam” syndrome. 

Husbands are called to cherish and love their wives as Christ loves the Church. First of all this means faithfulness in marriage, and then a loving, caring, unselfish regard for one’s better half. This verse prohibits polygamy and adultery because Christ has only one Bride. It also prohibits narcissistic, vain and selfish male behavior. Christ does not cherish Himself, but rather pours Himself out for the Church and we should do the same for our wives.

Last Friday I was taking a bible study when a woman asked about who should give way in marriage and I replied that the husband should always be considerate and the one that reaches out to meet his wife’s needs. The response from the various women present was a sudden loud “ O that is the nicest thing..” It was obvious that they all wanted considerate and caring husbands who gallantly met their needs.

Husbands - if you want a happy wife – then be caring, kind and considerate. But that is not quite enough – you also need to take the lead as Christ leads His Church. Your strength and your consideration will work together to make a joyful marriage.

This is a very deep passage and as I cannot finish without making reference to the relationship between Christ and us. “For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.” Christ is no stranger to us and we are no stranger to Him, rather we are “bone of His bone”. We are members of the body of Christ, we pulse with His life and accomplish His will. And Christ cares for us as one would care for one’s own body.

This close relationship is outlined in F.J Heugels short book “Bone of his Bone” which you can read online at: http://www.worldinvisible.com/library/huegel/5f00.0349/5f00.0349.c.htm

Here is a paragraph: MY purpose is to trace step by step the scope of this great principle of participation in Christ-to measure, as it were, the length and breadth, the depth and the height, of this marvellous identification of the believer with his Saviour. Christ, and all true believers, are one. They constitute His body. They are, in the language of Adam, "bone of His bone, and flesh of His flesh." Just what the implications of this oneness with Christ are-the overwhelming glory of such a position most Christians have never had -so much as an inkling. May the Father of Lights enable us not only to understand, but to enter into this holy temple, and to realize our oneness with Christ. This is the only spring that can quench our thirst. There is no other way to the fulfillment of our deepest aspirations as Christians.

Blessings,

John Edmiston johned@aibi.ph

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